love
too wonderful to comprehend.
hate
too insurging to restrain.

wish i could just sit here n stare into space..
till the pain is removed, the troubles depart..
and soon, will i find relief


as the weather outside turns to ice, my head within burns..
so unexpectedly.

It friday, 2nd day of Chinese New Year. Yet I'm feeling tired of going visting. And i have only visited my grandma's place. No where else to go. hmm, with time, chinese new year slowly has a new meaning for me. It reminds me both of relatives that are still existing and those that are gone to a better place. Once, it used to represent celebrations and reunions between family members not seen for some time. Now its a period of remembrance of grandparents who have departed from us. But soon surely, there would be a much greater reunion for all in the new earth and jerusalem, where i'll see them all once again.
anticipating that day to arrive anytime.
for now, i'll sit back n watch the rest of the festivities proceed along.

its 6 in the morning. havent had sleep yet, no matter how much i want to. the project standing in the way between my bed n i. blame it on my procrastination to get work done sooner. when does one learn the lesson of last minute work?

in the darkness of the morning, one learns to let go. to let go of the many things she once held dearly. its funny that only when we are tired of trying and putting in effort that situations work out better. maybe coz not giving attention to those things saves us from the depths of xpectations n disappointments. we all need to learn to let go, not out of feeling jaded, but of surrendering everything to the one who loves us much more than we can ever imagine or comprehend. only in His love, we are made secure, that nothing else matters anymore. Total surrender not to be mistaken for throwing one's life away.

coherent writing at 6:35am with lack of sleep?
incoherent thoughts throughtout the rest of the day.