farewell party with sam n the rest of the gang...

a total of 15 people turned up,
exactly the number expected.

chatting with laughter heard over the cling clang of silverware cutlery on porcelain.
yet it could not be any louder than the silent thoughts running through yours or my head.
im holding onto you and your every action of sweetness to me,
while you try to distant yourself from my very presence.
still, you give hints of concern which leaves me more troubled than at the start.

sweet desserts of mango kulfi were the starters,
delectable, smooth, rich, creamy n full of ethiopian desires.
only to end on a spicy and sour note of pannataak,
to bring back one's consciousness to the core of reality's heart.

how long are you going to play with my heart?
how much longer am i going to let you play with my thoughts?
i thought all is fine, but till i see you once again,
i realise you still have a hold on me.

your presence lingers on,
tempting me,
drawing me to you, unknowingly,
that i cannot resist being beside you.

i have assumed the role of a saprophyte,
living on your every act of kindness to me.
bits of crumbs may satisfy for now,
but your heart will i crave for soon.

i learnt that purity of love loses the battle to moral conscience.

i am a fool in love, when the one i love, i am not allowed to.