abuse

is it fair to judge a person's character based on his family history?

researchers have noted that people with a history of violent family abuse, be it physical, verbal or sexual, tend to possess that same tendency to abuse their spouse or children later in life. this is highly possible, as abuse though taking on physical manifestations, is in fact a mental torture that damages far more in the aspects of the victim's self-esteem and mentality. it gives the victim a misconception of how a family should rightfully live together and lead him into believing that abuse is part and parcel of life, and sometimes worse still, that abuse is an expression of one's love. even if the victim is being re-educated later on in lessons of love, subconsciously, his mind still refuses to admit that gentleness and care is love and infliction of pain and hurt is not. he becomes a lover of pain and sorrow and flees from the love others give him.
if he continues and marries, the cycle repeats without end.


i believe that in the cases of smoking, drunkardness and gambling habits of a parent, it does not necessarily mean that the children would follow suit. personal experience can vouch for that.

thus, all being said, to what extent do we judge one looking at their family background?

ramblings

how do we not let external circumstances trouble us? for our hearts are easily troubled by little hiccups or rather beacuse, we give authority over our minds to trivialty. and later blame it for causing us unnecessary headache. such is human nature. inner perfect peace is a rare jewel, that so few of us possess.

by far, how many people you know of talk incessently and how many take the time to listen? i agree that expression of ideas, feelings, perceptions is top of the list for humans to feel like they are existing or rather have a sense of self-importance in a social situation. but where does the line end before talk becomes unnecessary chatter and noise? maybe, I have seen too much ramblings on the internet of little value or consequence. imagine if one were to read only things which are meaningful to the progress of mankind, and ignore the others, the extent of work done would be enormous. but then, we humans thrive on the trivial and superfluous: gossips, scandals, personal stories of others. that we probably could not operate without this.


disclaimer: what i write is an expression of my thoughts towards human behaviour. It is neither aimed at pleasing nor enlightening anyone. i am after all just another observer in the background. if my words provoke you in any way and cause you stress, unhappiness, anger of any sort, you have the choice of ignoring and moving onto another website. like i said, inner peace is not a part of everyone.