a million pieces

a million pieces, a million thoughts runnning through the mind, none able to sustain my interest for long, where can i call home except when my life's end draws near?

how can love and hate co-exist in the attitude towards another?
unless, the love and hate are in perfect equilibrium to each other, neither outweighs the other. sometimes love overflows, sometimes hate exceeds, but they always return to their equilibrium state.

loneliness is all an illustion meant to fool us into believing we need people. while the majority of victims of this condition are women, men on the other hand seem to be able to escape from it. it's amazing that they are able to put thoughts aside and continual about their lives without any emotional luggage. I applaud that, at the same time, despise that. Envy that it is something I have no capability of, despise it for all its inhumanity. Well, men were much better at self defence and protecting their asses from the beginning of time, so its only too natural for them to beahve in such a way. Women are built much more differently, able to bear and forebear through all trials and difficulties.

How can men and women ever co-exist?