HURT: initiated in the mind but manifests bodily

why do we hurt the ones we love most? cant think of any reason except unforgiveness and condemnation of ourselves.

do we always have to blame someone for any mishap or calamity that occurs, from the iraq war to tsunamis and earthquakes? seems like human nature is fond of picking a target to dump all responsibilty upon, whether it be a person, a group of individuals, or god. and so often, do we forget to look at ourselves and realse how interconnected our lives are and that responsibility should be rightfully held by all of us... except god. maybe blaming others helps us to forget our inadequacies and imperfections by focussing on another's faults.


my mental energies these days are slowly decreasing, likewise any motivation. what's left is just doing things for the sake of being accountable towards them. an existence based solely on that is not enough for long term survival, lest to say for happiness. only little bits and pieces of life excites me temporary and the joy is quick to dissipate. does anyone understand what i mean? or are my feelings an isolated case?

a rut i have to find a way out from. any longer will this life-sucking virus drain every bit of my energy till what remains is a lifeless shell, an automated robot without a soul.

i long to be consumed with a ever-lasting joy. i know where it can be found. but i cant seem to reach it.

give me a large filter with micrscopic holes to filter my mind of any remnants of hurt...